Inclusive Wedding Tips: Things I’ve Learned Along The Way

Planning a wedding can feel like a lot and if you’re queer, nonbinary, trans, or just generally not vibing with the traditional wedding blueprint, it can come with a whole other layer of anxiety. I’ve been very fortunate to work with some badass couples who’ve made their weddings completely their own, and I wanted to share a few things I’ve learned along the way that might help you do the same.

Your wedding should feel like a reflection of you. Not a performance, not a compromise, but a celebration of your story and the people who matter most.

Here are a few things to look out for when planning a wedding that feels inclusive, affirming, and true to who you are.

Choose Vendors Who Get You

This is a big one. When I say work with vendors who are inclusive, I don’t just mean the ones who slap a rainbow on their Instagram in June. I mean people who see you, respect you, and make you feel comfortable being your full self. It starts from the first inquiry email to the last dance of the night.

When I show up to a wedding, I’m not just there to take photos throughout the day. I’m there to hold space for you both, be your hype girl, and help ground you during the action. Your whole vendor team should do the same.

Let Go of the “We Should…”

You don’t have to do the bouquet or garter toss. You don’t have to have your dad walk you down the aisle. You don’t even have to wear white, say vows, or have a bridal party if that doesn’t feel right. There are zero rules.

One of my favorite things about weddings, especially queer weddings, is how beautifully creative and intentional everything becomes when tradition isn’t the default. This is your day, it look and feel like you.

Language Matters!

Inclusive language is powerful. It sets the tone not just for you and your partner, but for everyone present. I’ve seen folks get emotional just hearing a ceremony that doesn’t assume gender roles or use outdated language because for once, the space is being held with care.

Little changes like using “spouse” or “partner,” or having your officiant avoid gendered assumptions, go a long way in making everyone feel welcome.

Pro tip:

Check how vendors word their contact forms — inclusive language like “partner 1 / partner 2” or “you + your love” is usually a good sign they’re paying attention.

Surround Yourself with YOUR People

So many of us have created our own version of family and weddings can be a beautiful space to acknowledge them. Whether that means giving a shoutout to your chosen family, creating a memory table for your (queer) elders, or simply being surrounded by people who get you… that connection is everything.

Your wedding doesn’t have to follow the typical “family-first” vibe. Celebrate the ones who have truly shown up for you, blood-related or not.

Take Up Space, Boldly and Fully

You don’t need permission to show up as your full, radiant self. Your love is not up for debate. You are not too much. You don’t need to shrink yourself or soften your story for anyone.

As a queer photographer, I see you. I want you to feel safe, seen, and hyped the hell up! Not just in photos, but throughout this whole journey.

So take up space. Laugh loud. Cry ugly. Wear the sparkly suit, or the flowy dress, or both. This day is yours.

TLDR: It’s YOUR Fucking Day!

There’s no “right way” to plan an inclusive wedding, just the way that feels right to you. If you’re in the thick of planning and feeling overwhelmed, just know you’re not alone. You deserve vendors who care and want to help be apart of a wedding that feels like home.

And if you’re still searching for someone to photograph all the love, the laughter, and the little moments in between, I’d be honored to connect with you.

Let’s create something real, together!